Love

Four simple letters.

L.

O.

V.

E.

Individually, they're nothing special. But put them together and they suddenly become this powerful, overwhelming, sickeningly complicated sentiment.

Everywhere I look, there are couples in love. Here's a quick glimpse of what I have to LIVE with:

Rebecca and Trevor got engaged on April 9, 2010. They're planning their wedding, and are going to live happily ever after.



Christin and Jason have been dating since this past summer. Even though they live thousands of miles apart during the school year, they talk on the phone for hours on end.



Now, don't get me wrong. I'm happy for these couples, and other couples that I know. I really am.

But I am SICK and TIRED of hearing girls fawn over the sweet things that their boyfriends say to them, or seeing the flowers that get delivered every month on their anniversaries.

Barf.

Am I jealous? Of course I am. The one freaking time that I had a guy really show interest in me, telling me that I was beautiful and how he couldn't understand how I'd never had a boyfriend before....Well, I think we all know how that turned out. (If not, see the previous post about being a survivor.) It only takes one night, one violation of trust, one invasion of the most personal and private self, to change someone's life.

But I've processed it. I'm ready to try, to trust.

SO WHERE IS HE?!

Maybe when he comes around, I won't be so annoyed with all of the public displays of affection. Maybe I won't walk everywhere and be disgusted by all the couples holding hands and whispering in each others ears.

But until then, I'm just going to have to suffer with the young love that surrounds me.

But really....Everyone says that "it will happen when you least expect it," and to "just give it time." I'm sorry, but that just pisses me off. Who are YOU to talk like that to me? People have no idea what I've been through.

Growing up with a younger sister who is absolutely gorgeous was hard. She was (and still is) able to get any guy she wants, and is so confident. Growing up, people would ask how far apart in age we were and when we said 2 and a half years, everyone ALWAYS assumed that she was older. THAT pissed me off to no end. "But that will be a good thing when you get older, because you will look younger!" Excuse me, but is that supposed to make me feel better?

Anyway...There's my current thoughts on love. I guess there's ONE guy who will never let me down...